You can tell you’re a Mac user if:

…You get emails from your Windoze-using friends, forwarded from all of their Windoze-using friends, with frenzied warnings not to open certain emails because they contain the latest worm or virus, and you chuckle because you know that you don’t have to worry about viruses, because…, well, you’re a Mac user.

… That Performa you bought in 19XX is still productive.

… Your Windoze friends are excited about their new wireless network, and you chuckle because you have been using your Mac’s Airport wireless network for two years.

… You talk about what you did WITH your computer, while your Windoze friends talk about what they did TO their computers.

… You DON’T have the Microsloth Tech Support phone numbers preset for “speed dial” on your phone.

… Your Windoze friends lament “why’d it do THAT?” while you are exclaiming “wow, I did that!”.

… You don’t get annoying pop-up messages, either from your operating system or internet spyware.

… You don’t require constant trips to the chiropractor for back pain due to “carrying ugly, heavy plastic laptop” syndrome.

… You don’t have to muscle in to airport lounge seats next to power outlets to get charged up for that upcoming 1.5 hour flight.

… You don’t have to hide your computer under your desk. In fact, your whole computer fits on top of your desk, and it looks GOOD there.

… Your Windoze friends trumpet the 1000 word processors available for Windoze, and you chuckle because you have only one word processor on your Mac and it does everything you need it to do.

… You computer doesn’t come with “Anna Karenina”-sized technical manuals.

… You’ve never used A-O-Hell or PMS-N, and you don’t break out in a rash if you have to change your network settings.

… They don’t sell your computer at Wal Mart.

… You don’t worry about hackers getting at your Quicken files through your cable modem connection.

… You paid more for your Mac than for a PC. But, you paid more for that 1990 Volvo you’re still driving, as well…

… Your Windoze friends refer to the Mac as a “toy computer”, then talk about how many more great games are available for Windoze.

… You skip right over that commercial you see all the time with the guy selling “How to Use Windows” instructional CDs.

Keep those emails coming to petez@macmaineiac.com, and, as always, Semper Mac! Take care.

© 2003 Peter F. Zimowski